Katrina Urquhart: January 2006

Secret Centre Theatre

My Uncle Rufus' latest play - sure wish I could go. Doubt he'll ever get a Toronto stint...

Secret Centre Theatre

Huronia Players - Midland Community Theatre Group

Season info for our local community theatre. Morgan is starring in The Bad Seed. I see the fund-raiser is Tanglefoot!

Huronia Players - Midland Community Theatre Group

Ghost of New Years Yet to Come

Next New Year's Eve will be wonderful. Our whole downstairs will be painted and the hideous border will not even be a memory. We'll have my kids at home, and Kevin's sons as well as they move back here this summer. They might each have a friend over; we might invite some families to drop by. Nothing big.
We'll have more money. We'll be done fighting with our ex-partners. We'll welcome family and friends to our newly fixed-up home. I hope we can somehow bring Kevin's daughter over for New Years - if we can, we'll have it all.

I know life throws constant unexpected curves at all of us; but barring calamity, we will have it all. How can I help but be excited at the start of this new year when I hope in one short year to have it all?

Blessed Be, mes amis.

Ghost of New Year Present

In the past I've striven to make personal change and to reach goals. I've sat betwixt the old year and the new and evaluated myself and my life and resolved to change the things with which I was displeased.
I'm generally more content now, with myself and my life and with life in general. I like where I am - it's nowhere stupendous and yet I am content with that reality. I'm not especially wise but I am wiser; I'm more able to see the bigger picture.
I have a lot of growing ahead as we all do, but I'm aware of this and I trust it will unfold as it should. I don't need to resolve to grow - I am aware and open to change and excited about life.
My self-evaluation is both more constant and more forgiving now. My earlier rants and raves can be summarized by a raise in the eyebrow and a silent nod of the head. This change in disposition does away with resolutions. It is a continuous path and I am cognizant of its beginning and some of its possible ends: I am mostly aware of this moment- this here, this now.

My passions are shifting. I'm getting older.

In advance of the changing year I initiated changes which will colour 2006. I have sent away forms which will make my legal name be

KATRINA ESLPETH URQUHART

and I will be rid of my burdensome previous incarnation. Let the children's step-mother be Mrs. Anderson - I'm not sure I was ever comfortable with that name. The kids accept and celebrate the change. Kevin is pleased to be rid of Anderson; for those who don't know, it is his ex-wife's maiden name.

This new name will be brought resoundingly into my career as I change employers next week. I never mention my employers' name in Blogs but if you call or email me I'd love to give you details of where and for whom I am now going to enjoy being a Banker. And I do enjoy it. I enjoy getting to know the customers' goals, preferences and needs. I love the problem solving and the fact that no-one has the same plan or solution. It's math and logic and counseling and human interaction all rolled up with money.
The reason I'm excited about my new job is it is here in town. I liked my last employer - I got along with my co-workers and I was proud of the Bank. I appreciated the systems and the innovative products. But the position was in Barrie. I burned fossil fuels and gave up critical family time to set up mortgages. I felt I couldn't relate to the customers at times as they weren't from my town. I missed being involved in my community, seeing the kids off to school, knowing the people who came to my branch , having coffee with my mom or lunch with Kevin. I get all that back now. I can ride my bike to work in the summer. I can tell I'm going to be proud to work at my new Bank. It's a top 50 employer in Canada, they have a record of helping the community, they are known to provide personal sevice and the staff at my branch seem fun. So once my Katrina Urquhart cards come in, be sure to ask me for one!
The other big change in 2006 that was initiated in 2005 is through family court. On the children's request I have asked the court to end our week-about arrangement. Their father disputes this of course and it will take alot of time and money for the court to decide. My hope is this will be the last legal dispute we will need to have. In the past I've either agreed in misplaced good faith, or I've backed down out of fear or lack of money. This current challenge will be difficult but I believe it will ensure the children's best interests are met, finally.
Three big changes- I don't need resolutions to make them happen. I'll just be my best self in each time and place and be aware of my full self, and each here and now.

It's all in the breathing.

I do, I suppose, "resolve" to lose some weight and build some strength before the 24 hour ski race at Mounainview and the 24 hour bike race at Mansfield. But only because I'll enjoy myself more if I'm not struggling after two laps. And also because both events entail tights.

Happy New Year!