cross roads
So here I find myself a small town cliche - alone and broken hearted.
I can't go back to what I was; I don't want to. I don't know what I am anymore. The aloneness I feel is vast, and changing. It's a sea of sorrow that changes with the wind to a sea of spiritualism. What would I become now if I hadn't found a relationship with God? It would be easy to be overwhelmed with anger and hatred and self-pity. I find I can manage to step over the lies and hurt and wounded self-worth. The fear is harder.
I wanted a life partner. I don't think I will ever have one now, because the man that would make it worth the risk cannot possibly exist.
But there is Life to love, and Light and Breath. And my children. And me. There's always me.
I can't go back to what I was; I don't want to. I don't know what I am anymore. The aloneness I feel is vast, and changing. It's a sea of sorrow that changes with the wind to a sea of spiritualism. What would I become now if I hadn't found a relationship with God? It would be easy to be overwhelmed with anger and hatred and self-pity. I find I can manage to step over the lies and hurt and wounded self-worth. The fear is harder.
I wanted a life partner. I don't think I will ever have one now, because the man that would make it worth the risk cannot possibly exist.
But there is Life to love, and Light and Breath. And my children. And me. There's always me.
posted by Katrina Urquhart at 7:22 p.m.
3 Comments:
You are surrounded with life that will make you happy and will enjoy being part of.
You were meant to be single for a lot longer than you thought you were meant to be.(just think about that).
The world is waiting for you to spread your wings and search for THAT LIGHT you need and want.With help from friends,you will find it and this will ALL make sense.
I have no wings left upon which to soar; I have no wind. I can only kneel and pray the light finds me. It will, through no worth of my own or injunction by humans.
The moment this wrenching end to our relationship makes sense to me, is the moment the hurt will cease to matter. Truly, what will make sense is how little any of it matters.
Then I'll miss you in some other way.
You are what you think you are - if you believe yourself to be wingless then you are: if you believe yourself to be without wind or light then you are. Believe yourself strong, independent, interesting and alive - that you are! M
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