covenant
When I was still married, there was a night when I got free of the house and stood in the park shivering and looking for a reason to go home. The kids were young, and asleep and I felt certain their Dad wouldn't leave the house. I knew he'd be furious for me for getting away. There'd be hell to pay and I asked God for some inspiration. A shooting star went across the sky and I was so moved, so full of hope and passion and I understood that if God can move a star just for me, then I can will myself back home to try once again.
This is how it goes when I talk to God. I "hear" the answer, but it's more like understanding or perceiving or really, like breathing it in.
So tonight's events left me very confused and longing and seeking and alone. Walking home I breathed in the stars and felt the breeze and listened to the wind in the trees and I talked to God. And through the wind and stars and breathing, I got answers I needed. Is this God? Is it meditation? Does it matter what you or I call it?
Nigh eleven I went outside and bounced on my trampoline. My conversation was more open mind by then. And a shooting star went across the sky. Again, I felt such joy and love and worth and hope. After bouncing a while I turned off the outside light and spoke some more with God.
I know it's a meteor shower time just now. And I know how I felt. I don't think I need to get scholarly about it.
This is how it goes when I talk to God. I "hear" the answer, but it's more like understanding or perceiving or really, like breathing it in.
So tonight's events left me very confused and longing and seeking and alone. Walking home I breathed in the stars and felt the breeze and listened to the wind in the trees and I talked to God. And through the wind and stars and breathing, I got answers I needed. Is this God? Is it meditation? Does it matter what you or I call it?
Nigh eleven I went outside and bounced on my trampoline. My conversation was more open mind by then. And a shooting star went across the sky. Again, I felt such joy and love and worth and hope. After bouncing a while I turned off the outside light and spoke some more with God.
I know it's a meteor shower time just now. And I know how I felt. I don't think I need to get scholarly about it.
posted by Katrina Urquhart at 10:20 p.m.
1 Comments:
i don't get that kind of immediate feedback; or maybe i do get immediate feedback of some kind and i'm not as well attuned to it as you are.
i like the idea that jesus while on earth was in constant communion with god. and its clear in the old testament that the good leaders, such as david, would talk to god, would ask god, should i go out and kill the philistines today, and sometimes god would say no, go do this instead. or as in the case of elijah, after he returns to ahab, god is on his side and god says today you better run and hide.
for me, i talk to god and i try to listen, i try to feel, because there's a certain groove, a flow that i've come to trust, and have faith that it's god talking back. i long for the day when that flow is as strong as the niagara current -- tho at present that terrifies me, but perhaps one day i'll be strong enough
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